More Like Peter than Sarah

I woke up from my dream angry, had to remind myself it was a dream. LOL! This lady had me waiting too long for my change. But then I had clarity on another matter. Over the years I’ve tried to walk a Christian walk, studied over and over. But I could never quite get those personality traits to line up. I wasn’t a good, meek wife like Sarah. I’m nothing like any other woman I know, actually. I was always more like Peter all day every day, always talking and demanding answers that made sense. I couldn’t understand why humility was an issue for me, or why it made me so mad when folks did me wrong. Why don’t I play well with others? No matter what I do, I can’t seem to “fix” that. You know, you’re supposed to do it Jesus’ way.

It’s not that simple though. For one thing, Jesus was perfect. It also occurred to me that in all those 66 books of the bible, there are many different personality types who are considered faithful servants, and I’ve obviously been forcing my odd-shaped peg in a round hole all these years. I don’t fit where anybody else does. I recently remembered a series of tests I have taken at work over the years, telling my strengths and my personality type. I had my kids take one last week (www.16personalities.com); turns out they’re like total opposites of me. I can guess that little one is just like the other two. I’m the only introvert in the house; I’m exhausted before I ever step outside to deal with other people. That’s part of the reason I am so content not stepping outside. I need to recharge, process, make sense of things before I engage with all the many EXTRAverted types out there. Hey, they have me surrounded in here. And they’re always talking to me….

So back to my type; I have consistently been the ”INTJ,” “Scientist,” or “Mechanic” with the strong analytical tendencies and reconstructive skills–strategy; that’s my thing. Thinking, working alone, formulating ideas, not following a given set of rules, and challenging everything. Yeah, a different kind of girl. But the beauty of having a relationship with God is I’m being groomed to be the best Tonya I can be–not the best Sarah or Abraham or even Jesus. Peter was nothing like anybody else I ever read about, but I needed to know about him because I’m different too. I am a rare and exquisite flower, growing the way I am meant to grow. So I stopped fighting my nature; I decided to embrace it instead. I’ve been much happier. My advice: Deal according to knowledge. Find your lane, and stay there. Grow the way you are meant to grow.