My Sales Director Bernadette always says this in training. It’s really important for so many reasons, regardless of the task or goal. Today I remind myself that in parenting this is also great advice. At first it seemed like I took an L when we couldn’t work together and attack an issue. It’s still between us, with our son maneuvering both ends, of course–or he thinks he is. I realize after some thought that things aren’t as I first assumed because even if he can’t talk to me about certain things, he can talk to his father or some other family member. And if he won’t do what I ask him to do, or follow my instructions, there’s a row of figurative walls waiting for him to hit them and rethink the situation/approach. One day he’ll realize how brilliant I am. He will learn the lesson, even if it’s not today, and I’ve done my job.
If I look like the bad guy in the meantime, cool. As long as he thinks his dad is the cool one, he’ll feel he has someone on his team, and keep spilling his guts about his problems. Great. He’s not alienated from the human race, he feels loved and accepted somewhere, even if he’s thinking crazy strategy, he’s thinking, and the two sides can balance each other out cause he has an outlet from his torturous, structure-rich, disciplinary, work ethic training existence here in my house. Then there’s therapy for the rest. Mission accomplished, bottom line. Main thing covered. I’m doing my job.
Some things won’t be decided or deciphered right now. Arguing is futile. Though we disagree on seemingly everything all the time, and though we did so as recently as this very morning, I realize that it doesn’t even matter if we agree because our son has what he needs, he’s old enough to reap what he sows, and I’m a firm believer in whatever will be will be. I’ve hit enough walls to know when to let go of the rope headed for trouble. It is what it is. I hereby agree to disagree without the constant tug of war.
This here is a classic example of Tonya D. Floyd going against the grain. Whoever said parents should team up and partner and all that other junk clearly never knew us. We only ever agreed on one thing–okay, two. I forgot we did set out to take over the world years ago too. 😉 Funny how that which once complemented can now be one’s biggest source of conflict. Thin lines and all that….
From the Mind of:
Tonya D. Floyd
Make your own rules, but follow the Law.
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