Okay, who’s not busy? Well, I know some people, but I’m talking about my own stuff right now. I woke up with a feeling of renewal, and the breeze of “ready to do something new now” blew by as I put some charity items out of the garage in the dark. I was up like really early. Anyway, I was scrolling through my missed calls, texts, and visual voice mails, while gauging how much time I get to lunch out before my 12:00 meeting, my 1:00 meeting, and this truck rental, and whether I’ll be there in time to let EJ in or not. And it hit me right then–I have to admit I need some stuff.
Yes, I looked at probably YOUR name and number on my phone and thought to myself, I am sure I do not have the time to call you because you don’t fill in one of my blanks, and I’m so not interested in filling any of yours on this here day. For real, I wrote once about how ungrateful I know I am for different reasons, but today I feel completely justified in saying I need some stuff–in all my capacities. They say you have not because you ask not, and that you should work in harmony with what you ask for, and you get out what you put in and all that. Check my signature line–From the Mind of: Tonya D. Floyd. Some stuff I just need to get out of my head. Well, I’m putting it out there; I need some stuff.
Anybody else ever feel run down, used up, milked, drained, left in the cold or something? I do. People just keep letting me down. Everybody is so selfish, and the things that should matter get put on the back burner until…. Well, the list of untils goes on forever. The only things people have time for are what they choose to make time for, and I tend to make the list when they need insight, jokes, something pretty on their arm, or encouragement. Not interested. Not anymore. I need some stuff.
I was talking to my aunt the other day and she suggested I may need meds for my obvious social dysfunction and desire to disassociate myself from the general population; however, Dr. Oz said it’s only a problem if it disrupts normal activity and holds up your life. I’m still moving right along, so I’m good; it’s safer for everybody this way. There’s no telling when this rubber band will snap.
I need fathers to step it up for their kids–like really dude, send my check, call, throw a ball, watch a movie, read a book, bring some socks, beat him or SOMETHING. Playing with dolls while I’m doing grown-up stuff. And stop whining about your money issues; man up! Damn, I’m pretty incredible, but there’s only one me, and I’m already stretching. We both know that broad is temporary anyway, cause you got money issues. I hear the rest of you over there. Yes, I chose the bammas. And we made beautiful music together for a while too. But that was then; this is now, and people change–well, I did anyway. Don’t go there.
Now back to the reality of today, I need some help, some money, some quiet time, some personal attention, somebody else to go to the school some days, some mentors, some scared straight, and somebody who’s good with motivating young women to think and stand on their own two feet. Hey, I try. Obviously she’s not as much like me as she probably should be. She’s actually looking a lot like her father right now to me.
But back to this list, I need to focus on my work…my exit strategy. I need encouragement and ideas for how to connect this to that and get to the other side. I need advertising, referrals, promotion–the kind friends and family do when they maybe post a book link to their wall or write a review and make sure people can see it–stuff like that. Free stuff that won’t hurt you, take too much of your time, or cause you to question your beliefs or anything serious like that. I’m just saying, I need help reaching lots of people even though I’m just one me. I need you.
I know asking for consistency is asking for a lot from most people, but I don’t always understand why that is. I need that too. But it’s like they don’t even try, even though I do. I clearly recall a conversation I had years ago with a good intellect-sparring friend of mine (missing him right about now cause he’s obviously so busy doing whatever) where we agreed that people will not treat you like you treat them for the most part, and whether it’s okay or not, it just is. I can hear him saying that I should continue treating people the way I treat people, and not worry about the rest. But right now, I gotta be a little selfish. I just don’t feel like it. I need some stuff, period. Anybody else ever feel like that?
From the Mind of:
Tonya D. Floyd, Author/Owner
Versatili-T Creations LLC
www.Versatili-T.com