Men, many of you don’t know this, but the woman you’re looking for has either been married before, or she has mothered someone in her lifetime, or both. And I say that because she may never have given birth, but she has given up something for the sake of a child(ren) who needed her simply because they needed her. We have auntie/godmommy out here running interference for trifling moms, kids who’ve lost their mom, sickly mom, etc. But let me be clear, some women simply are not interested in any of this. We’re not talking about them.
We as women GENERALLY have a nurture thing about us that kicks in instinctively when needed. We just do what needs to be done. We care, comfort, encourage, support, protect, discipline, correct, pray…. The list is long, and that’s just for the kids! She turns around and does everything she can for her man too; only he isn’t investing in her the way her operating system requires, which means she’s not being built up and supported to handle her load. Self-care is lacking; she’ll get to that later. She’s exhausted–physically and mentally.
Heart is a trademark for this type of woman, though she may not feel loved at all. She seems unapproachable because she really ain’t got time for nobody else’s shit. Zero. However, the right one can still get in IF he comes bearing gifts. And I’m not talking material things alone. I’m talking relief, an assist of some kind, kindness, patience, sweet nothings in her ear, pleasant distractions, actual gifts, reminders that she’s amazing….deposits into her “I see you and I appreciate you” fund.
One major difference here is she is absolutely ready! See, a man who realizes he needs or wants something more may bounce around from woman to woman, biting off bits and pieces for years to sate his desire for sex or companionship or empowerment, while living with a woman he knows he has no future with.
God saw that it was not good for man to be alone and sent him a mate. He’s incomplete without her, and therefore he’s compelled to find “her.” He can’t escape that. Yet, for a time, he’ll pretend or believe that’s not a priority. Or his money is funny. Or he hasn’t healed yet. Or he’s afraid to fall again. Or something else entirely. He won’t be ready to pursue her until he’s strong enough. Even if she appears by chance, he must get up and pursue her for it to work.
Women are slightly different. We seek emotional fulfillment. We were created to help, to work alongside him, to love, to mother, to cater essentially. Rest assured, if he appears, she’s here for all of the goodness, and quiet as it’s kept, she’ll take it if she’s still with another dude. Don’t judge. She didn’t realize you were coming right then, and she’s loyal to him TODAY because that’s how she was raised/conditioned. Duty over desire. It’s a process.
She wants what you have to offer, she will absolutely put in the work to make things work, and she’ll be an asset to the man who makes her feel loved and appreciated. If she’s worth it to you, you’ll hang in there until she’s able to safely exit that other situation.
I have learned that most people prefer not to be alone, so they’ll stay in an unfulfilling situation just to avoid it. Once they see the light of fulfillment approaching, that’s dead. Are you man enough to wait for her? Will you put in the effort for her? I mean, it’s an investment in your future, right? Just food for thought. Keep hope alive. I wish you love and peace. ❤✌🏾
From the mind of Tonya D. Floyd
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