I began my normal scrolling on Facebook today when I came across a memory from 2016. The first few entries shocked me into “Oh my goodness, why would I be so vulnerable, talking about him openly like that?!” But as I continued, I realized it was a cumulative list of things I’d learned over the past two decades and someone else probably needed to hear them that day.
Now I’m thinking about whether I can add anything from my 50-year-old self. Maybe. But I like these. I’ll keep them.
I wish someone had told me:
1. You can love him, yet not be moved.
2. You can enjoy being with him, and not want a future with him.
3. People tell this lie, but it is possible that the sex meant nothing. I call it reaching in the back of the drawer. It’s a toy thing. You don’t love those. They simply serve a purpose.
4. You don’t have to accept just cause he proposed something.
5. Love is NOT all you need.
6. He will probably cheat on you, but it has nothing to do with you. We all learn at different rates.
7. If he does cheat on you, it’s not the end of the world. But if he doesn’t change, you should move on sooner rather than later. It will burn like a son-of-a-bitch, but so does getting shot (like in the shoulder or leg or something). Eventually it heals.
8. Love DOES NOT hurt.
9. Love makes people better, not worse.
10. You CAN be happy. Sometimes you can be happy alone.
11. Do what you love. Get good at it, then get paid for it.
12. If you make the wrong choice, it’s okay. There are billions more to come. And now you’re smarter, cause you messed up that time.
13. Take care of yourself. It’s not wrong. Nobody is more qualified at it than you, and nobody else has to care. You do.
14. People will let you down. The people you love most will let you down. It will burn. You will live.
15. You. Are. Incredible. Never forget that.
I don’t know what happened that day, or what dream I had, but this is good stuff. I pray you can use some of it. Be well.
From the Mind of Tonya D. Floyd