This week has been full of signs and messages to try again. You know how I always find a way to reason away disappointment and push through this or that? Well, some things have been weighing on me lately that I can’t explain away. I keep looking for the lesson or the way out, but these things just won’t leave me. I told my cousin on Sunday I wish I could have some of my memory surgically removed so I can move forward without this thing, whatever it is.
It’s a huge distraction trying to figure out something you don’t even want on your plate. But it’s staying apparently. I’ll just go around it. I’m gonna try some things again in the meantime. A follow-up letter to some key people, reminding them why they should give me what I’m asking for. Funny, I just got a response this very morning from one source, granting my second request. They had denied me something I needed, and I replied with a not-so-nice message thanking them for nothing and accusing them of having poor customer service. Had I walked away after the denial, I wouldn’t have what I need.
I’ve been trying to find the right words for these next two letters I need to write, because I just know they need me, even if they haven’t a clue who I am today. I was ignored once, so I have to be sure they intentionally ignored me and didn’t just overlook me or set me to the side and forget. Hey, why waste time asking for stuff if you don’t really want it? If you take the time, you do want it. No time to punk out now. I’m going back in. Again! I said a while back, and again to somebody this very week, there’s always an appeal process. Don’t take no for an answer if you don’t agree with it. Again! You didn’t hear me? Again! You don’t like me? Again! The next person may relate better to my request. Again! You may not have had an assistant to screen letters for you and you were too busy to respond to me directly that day. Again! If I failed a test, I can always take it again. If I missed a deadline, I can always ask for another. If I’m short this week, so is half the country, so I can ask you for an extension. If I never ask, you may not think I need it. If I do ask, I just might get it. Sometimes you just gotta do it again.
If enough time has passed, everything may have changed, making the picture very different than before. New management, new team, new goals, new budget, new deadlines, new skills, new outlook. Again! If you want it, ask for it. I’ll never forget my first book deal. I didn’t know anything about writing books or publishing them, but I did my research and submitted my manuscript. They said it was too short, but if I would double it and resubmit, I had a deal. I did, and it was what I needed to build my confidence. It was a sorry deal for me financially, and caused a rift in my family, but it was a spark that lit a blaze inside me. I’ll never be the same because I tried it again.
From the Mind of:
Tonya D. Floyd
Have you been counted?
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