July 31, 2013
My Dear Beautiful Girl,
Yes, I’m talking to you—the beautiful young woman with the big heart, that pool of intelligence, and the body I’ve spent the last several years trying to get back into. You have no idea how incredible you are, inside and out, but I’m telling you what I know to be true. I send you greetings from the year 2013. We’re just shy of our 43rd birthday, we’re still pretty hot in our grown woman body, and we’ve accomplished more than you can imagine right now. Okay, that was modest—we kick ass; for real. Girl, we are so talented in so many areas, mercy! It’s like we can literally do anything we put our mind to, and it doesn’t take a lot of effort at all. I know you thought everybody could do some of the stuff you can do, like writing, but they can’t. We have published seven books so far. Ha! How about that?!
You know how the kids teased you for being smart and called you teacher’s pet and stuff like that? Well, they were stupid, jealous, and trying to make you believe there was something less cool about you. I know to you standing out back then felt like a bad thing, but girl, we stand out right now like a bright, shiny needle in a dusty haystack. It’s where we draw our confidence from, and what drives us to do everything now. Don’t panic; we are not alone. We have friends—good ones—and they understand us, while reminding us that our differences make us more valuable. I know you’ll have many questions, but I need you to understand that I am not writing this letter to change the course of time, nor do I want to warn you not to do any of the things you’re about to do. That should be an indicator to you that we really are all right, because you used that intelligence and that heart to get me here. Thank you for that by the way.
What I am writing to do is encourage you to embrace those feelings you’re having that make you want more, and I want you to pay close attention to the things that happen around you—in a sense that there’s a lesson in all of it. Always look for the lesson; you’ll use those later. Ask what can I do with this information, and the answers will come. Every challenge, every failure, every loss—yes, we will lose people and it will take time to get back up, but you will. I promise you all the bad things will eventually make sense, they will prove to you that there is a God who loves you like nobody else can, and he will take you places inside yourself that will allow you to unlock the beauty that is only yours. You will use the lessons to help so many other people feel better, and they will get up. You will lead by example. Yep, you are a leader. Okay, I have to be honest; I’m still not that fond of people in general, but that trait helps me to keep a lot of mess out of my space—it’s not so much protective anymore as it is being selective. Girl, people are a trip. But enough about them.
Our very first published book was a book of poems, and we spilled our guts about emotional stuff—yes, it was scary, but it had to be done. Trust me. You’ll feel so much better afterward. Your purpose will become clear, and you’ll just light up, blossom, grow. About that, um you’re gonna meet a man who seems like nothing you would ever want to keep, and he will challenge you, but regardless of what people say, when he asks, marry him. We learned the most valuable lessons of our entire life in that marriage. It will be the biggest challenge ever, and you know that when you overcome challenges, you become stronger, smarter, faster, and more confident. Yeah; we kick ass. For real. Give it your all; never be sorry you did.
Now back to that self-esteem issue; yes, we spent many years hiding from everything, believing we were inferior, thinking we had to work extra hard to be better, feeling like we were swallowed up by the big ugly world and there was no real place for us. But I have learned that the world is full of people who pretend really well, because they are just as insecure if not more so than you, and they compete with one another way more than they should. For you, beautiful one, the key will be finding yourself, your talents, your strengths, understanding that you’re not ugly, you’re not fat and he’s totally wrong about you. People will say things to keep you down, because they’re afraid you’ll do better than they ever did. Yes, evil. The devil is real, and he’s real busy. Listen to your intuition, rely on your spiritual training, and know that you are designed for greatness. Your future is bright. Remember the phoenix. Remember the phoenix. You have no idea.
There’s one more thing you should know—not about the husband or the kids or the car or the house or the job or the books or how lovely the future looks from where I stand—I want you to know that I love you just the way you are. If I had the chance to do it all again, I would still choose you. You are perfect. Didn’t I tell you we kick ass girl?! Pay attention. Live. Love. Laugh. See you when you get here.
With all my love,
Tonya D. Floyd
