Old school, or new school? I realize I’m about to piss some people off, but that’s cool. Because the few that read this and begin to think differently, or just think, will be worth the effort. I’m sure you know by now that I can be a bit of a rebel when it comes to most things. I push the envelope, challenge what people thought had already been proven, do my own thing, and I enjoy a good dispute over so-called facts. However, I firmly believe that women have completely lost their minds, and are a large part of the problem with men in our society–black men in particular.
I haven’t read any of the men books that seem to be flooding the bookstore shelves these days; I did see Think Like a Man and loved it, though. I found it very entertaining, and I was reminded of a few things in the process. I don’t agree with everything represented there, but hey, it’s a movie, based on a book, written by one man, who speaks from his own perspective. Nobody said it was law, and you’re under no obligation to agree or comply with anything therein. So why are people so bent out of shape over this thing? If you ask me, it’s because people just like to be bent out of shape about stuff and then they can speak or write about it and others will subscribe to it, or make them a topic of conversation because it made them mad. This is not new. But anyway, I was saying there is a rash of men books being published supposedly for women, which leads me to believe they think women are missing it. I agree with that. Many of us are.
Back in the day women were taught by their elders to cook, clean, run a household, support their men, study the Bible, and all kinds of useful things to help them be assets to their families. Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost much of that. In our quest for independence, we’ve alienated the male species in many ways, and have put the family structure in jeopardy. Yeah, some of us can burn, and have the nerves it takes to raise a bunch of little kids, but how many of us know our place? I said it; woman, do you know your place? You wanna know why you can’t get a man, or why you can’t keep one? Because you’re not flexible enough–in your thinking. Because you’re not supportive enough, where it matters. Because you talk too much. Because you’re not spiritual enough, and you forgot what the instructions say (God made him the head, and you the weaker vessel). Because you don’t realize that by his side means just that–by his side. You feel like you’ll be fine with or without him. Possibly, but is that what you really want? Let’s start with telling the truth about what you want, and go from there. If alone works, then love it. But don’t cry about the lack of good men out here, or the lack of men who can be your equal. Like good women, those are scarce honey. Question is are you worthy of one of the good ones? Or will you run him into the ground with your superiority, and that other stuff you’re on?
My girlfriend and I were talking the other day about how some women tend to chew up the good guys and spit them out, leaving women like us who come along later to nurse a broken spirit, or play 20 questions every day when he feels threatened by some invisible man waiting to scoop us up and take us away. Dude, stop trippin. She and I have zero in common. First of all, she’s obviously new school; I’m old school. My thinking is all evolved and forward and stuff, but a warm, happy home appeals to me way more than winning any argument over who has more money or power. And what good is traveling the world if I can’t take my designated partner? Like I said before, I was built for man; I am not of the opinion that I should be without that whole package. I’m not alone; most of my girls are like that too. And yet, we’re all single.
Another casualty of the new-school mentality. From where I stand, it looks like these broads have convinced men that they are only here for sex, physical labor, and their time can be bought by the highest bidder. Sure, times have changed, and women are making more; the ratio of women to men is ridiculous; unemployment is a real bitch; and highly-paid men without baggage just don’t seem to be plentiful–where I live anyway. I can only speak for what I see. But what difference does any of that make if we can put it together and make it work for the team? Ah, the team–the forgotten concept. You know, the thing where we bring our collective strengths/talents together, plan a strategy, and set out to win this thing. Right, team.
When he’s up, stand there and smile with him–he accomplished something that mattered to him. Oh, and be sure to look exceptional when you’re doing it. Give him a high-five and a butt tap or something. Whatever his thing is, keep giving it to him, and keep smiling and looking good. If you’re with him, you’re on his team; right? We’re winning! When he’s down, don’t get behind and push him, and certainly don’t walk over him and talk trash to him. Stand beside him, take his hand, pat/rub him on the back, kiss him on the cheek or something, give him the attaboys and the encouraging words he needs to try something else or try again, and remind him why you chose him, and why you still need him. They get discouraged just like we do. You know what you want somebody to do for you when you feel low; right? All right then; give it up. But some of you are unable to think that way; you only see what’s in it for you, and when that’s gone, so are you.
So people like my friends and me have a tougher time finding that diamond in the rough. Most of us don’t feel like we should have to go man-hunting like we would hunt for a job, because we’re pretty content with our lifestyles, salaries, and ability to make our stuff work. But when we encounter prospects, it’s exhausting having to deal with that last woman’s crap, usually still hanging onto his body and soul. I swear those broads can do a number on a man’s psyche. Mercy! It’s so bad that we see too much game, he’s either used to being attached at the hip like a tumor, or he’s never around for quality time because remember–she only needed him for certain things.
I know my little cadre of real women friends and I can’t change the world, and we can’t keep trying to put humpty dumpty guy back together, but we’re out here, and hopefully we can send out enough good energy to attract the right stuff. Hookers beware! Once he gets a hold of one of us, it’s a wrap, and you’re toast. Believe it or not, the real ones don’t have sex as number one on their list either–maybe top three though. He just wants to feel like a man, worthy of love, loyalty, respect and support. With so many of you out there, doing what you do, I have no doubt that I stick out like a bright, shiny needle in that dusty haystack. Keep it up. Send him home to mama–old school.
From the Mind of:
Tonya D. Floyd, Author
Versatili-T Creations LLC
www.Versatili-T.com