It was late summer 2008 when I decided to get up. I’m talking off the ground, out of the hole, out of my funk. He didn’t want to be married to me anymore, and it burned. I tried. I pleaded. I prayed. I did everything I ever believed a wife should do to preserve her marriage, and it did not work. My confidence was shot. I was never outwardly emotional, but I was absolutely defeated. I didn’t even want to get out of bed most days, but no one was going to come along and take care of any of us. I had two little witnesses watching and depending on ME to take care of us. So I painted on my best face daily, and I went to work.
We were living in a two-bedroom apartment at the time. It was what I thought I could afford. I had just been through a bout with the IRS garnishing my wages. I had a prior bankruptcy on my credit report. I had real, live, adult bills, and a credit score in the 400’s. A friend of mine kept telling me I should buy a home instead of paying rent that high. “Floyd, you can buy a house for that much,” he would say. “It doesn’t make sense to keep throwing money out the window. Think about the tax credits. Think about the investment in yourself and your kids.” NOTHING in my life appeared to go along with that logic. I couldn’t tell him my credit was crap. I couldn’t tell him my confidence was crap. I couldn’t tell him I lacked the energy to even care. I just wanted to get through each day, and end up in my bed so I could cry when my kids were asleep.
I’m a praying woman. I am a spiritual woman. And I am human. When I want to be strong, sometimes I cannot. When I want to be fierce, sometimes I am not. However, when I get that feeling…that particular “wind” blows over me saying I need to do something, I get up and I do it. One day it just washed over me, and I decided to investigate this homeowner thing. I researched mortgage calculators, and I figured out how much Mary Kay I could sell to get my income up. I thought about the income tax return I would finally get in the coming year. Gradually, I began to believe. But I needed to take immediate action to fix that credit report.
I requested a copy of each report from the three reporting agencies. I reviewed, disputed, and disputed some more. Within six months, I had numbers in the mid-600’s and I was ready to test the waters. Oh I was very much afraid, but I did it anyway. I had curiosity on my side, a friend encouraging me, and the research and repair I had done. I had momentum. And I was pregnant with my third child. That two-bedroom was beginning to feel really small. What did I have to lose at that point? At the very least, I would know what else I needed to do to get qualified to purchase my first home. We needed that home.
Early February 2009 I met with a real estate agent. I took my kids with me. I filled out some papers, and minutes later I had a pre-approval letter. We were officially house shopping! By April 2009 I knew which house we would buy. I brought my friend along on a tour, and he agreed with me. “Floyd, what God has for you is for you. You are going to get this house.” After some negotiation, a multiple-offer situation, and several months praying over this short sale, our offer was accepted. I should’ve been ecstatic, but then I was faced with the reality of my 3.5% downpayment. It was just a theory until then.
I asked a couple of people for help. One agreed, but that fell through. Some may have even been offended I asked at all. I’m sure they thought anybody actively searching for a home would have that part figured out already. Well, that’s how I generally prefer to do most things. But this was not one of my average endeavors planned from A to Z; this was an act of faith. It was totally different. And as usual, God intervened. This time my blessing came in the form of a friend who said, “I believe in you. I always have. You just have something special, and with a little time I am sure everyone else will see it too.” Then she offered me money toward my downpayment. We settled on August 31, 2009, a month after my son was born. This has been home ever since.
We touched every surface, floor, wall, and fixture in this house making it our own. My kids complained and argued and rebuked me about the manual labor we had to do, but they always seemed to bring company by. They must like it here. Go figure. Then last year, a fire temporarily took our home from us. Six months in the wilderness is how I generally describe it. But everything is new now. We actually have the home we dreamed about that day we walked into a short sale, fixer-upper sold “as-is.” Not only that, I’m a licensed real estate agent, obsessed with renovation and construction, and I can’t enter a space without seeing decor, design choices, and dimensions. I build things in my sleep. Don’t get me started on wood species. Not even joking.
The moral of this story? It’s whatever you take away from it, I guess. I was talking to my downpayment angel friend earlier today, and she gave me an idea about ways I can help single mothers like myself. She has lots of great ideas, usually when I don’t even know I need them. So, I’m going to take her advice and make moves in that direction. Something told me I should write this blog entry first, though. I complied. I hope you can find some inspiration from it. Dare to do things you never thought you could. Stay in prayer. And by all means, ask me some questions. I’m here to help.
From the mind of:
Tonya D. Floyd
Author, baker, designer, Realtor, Single Mama, etc…