Yesterday I set up my cupcake table at a vending event in the building where I used to work, as I often do. I saw several former coworkers who didn’t know I had left. One lady in particular looked at me in disbelief when I told her. She seemed so concerned for me when she asked, “So what are you doing now?” I told her I do several things, and she asked where. I said “at home.” Her face showed such worry, I had to assure her it was perfectly fine.
One of my friends came by my table and we were discussing her future retirement plans. She had no idea which of her talents she wanted to base her future business on to carry her through with a measure of security. Then she said she was afraid to fail. I raised my hand and said, “I’m the poster child for failure. I’m getting my ass kicked right now as a matter of fact.” She brushed me off, but I was so serious!
I explained to her that for the last year and a half I’ve been flying by the seat of my pants because all my plans–the elaborate, detailed financial and operating plan I designed before my separation–was a complete fail. None of it went the way I planned it. None of it.
I can’t even say I had big dreams for my first years as a solo entrepreneur. I just wanted to make as much as I had working for someone else. At least I knew that would pay my bills the same. To be fair, I brought in just over 50% more than I was earning as a full-time employee on salary, but those business and medical expenses hit different when you’re solo.
Then too, I don’t get paid bi-weekly, or monthly, or quarterly, or in any way regularly. And though my bills still do come in monthly, I get paid when there’s a job that pays. So planning is key. I’m 100% responsible for making sure those jobs come in. My marketing game has to be on point. But no matter how many times or how many clients I’ve asked, the ratings and referrals aren’t rolling in the way I’d prefer. So I get real creative about how and where I farm for business.
Another obstacle I’ve run into lately is the lack of the old reliable pay statement. I got nothing there. I’m forced to rely on profit and loss statements and bank statements, which should be enough, but I gotta tell you, I’m getting the business trying to make some critical financial moves. Ass kicked. Along with that, and to my dismay, the world seems to be in the hands of my arch-nemeses–millennials! Mercy!!
I declare talking to these young people is excruciating because it’s as if they cannot form logical thoughts or follow linear thought patterns and draw conclusions from a given set of data. How are you in finance without analytical skill????? I have learned that many of them require very specific, very clearly organized information presented on a silver platter with the answers already marked for them. Okay, that was snarky, but it’s not false.
Some of these kids do lack critical thinking skills. I can’t even tell you how many times I had to revamp my data just so they could read it, and one of them had the audacity–no, it was more like the wide-eyed wonderment–to ask me exactly what dates were covered on my 4th quarter statement from 2019/07 thru 2019/09. Huh? July 1 – September 30 Miss. You don’t have quarters in your finance world Miss?
Then we argued about what is a business expense versus a household expense, although last year’s tax return is itemized and marked as such. To me, a pie with half the slices missing is half a pie no matter how you slice it, but I’m no finance expert, so…. Maybe I just need to put me on salary and give me a pay stub for the kids to keep up. To my dismay, they’re kinda running customer service for all kinds of things we need now.
So yeah my hopes and dreams are being held hostage by millennials at this point. I gotta get my weight up and secure a bigger bag if I’m going to get around some of this madness. But that takes more time and more marketing, which costs more money. Look, I know God’s teaching me some great life lessons here, but I’d really, truly appreciate a pass on some of it. Just push me through with a D Lord, please!
Okay, to add insult to injury, I was supposed to be working on my business plan for at least the last year. What had happened was I looked over the template, formulated how to attack the sections, and I got held up on the financial statement. Apparently, your net worth is important on a business plan because it shows potential investors what you bring to the table and how well you can manage your own money. Duh. So I’ve been reducing my debt, scrutinizing my credit report, and seeking a lower mortgage payment, among other things.
If I can just get this one particular mountain to move,… if God would please show me favor, I could see several things lined up for my progression to the next level, and I could actually hire some folks. IF. So yeah, I’m failing all over the place. Yet, I’ve never been happier, more satisfied with my skill set, or more determined to come from under.
I see it. I taste it. I know it’s there for me. Am I prepared though? Maybe the time is just not quite right for what I have planned, and I’m in my own way by not graciously accepting the lessons God has laid out for me. What I am sure of is he didn’t bring me this far to leave me. I’ll keep throwing it up and see what sticks.
It’s funny, I used to say failure is not an option. I have learned it’s very much an option, and although it SUCKS, it’s a great teaching tool. Here I am learning every day, with every jab thrown around every corner. Duck girl! Matrix! LOL! It’s all good. Though I may fail often, I will NOT lose.
From the mind of Tonya D. Floyd