Listen. A lot of you are crying about your relationships. I told you years ago, there’s a real science to a person’s position in the family. But you ain’t do your research! First-born children are different than middle children, who are different than the youngest kids. They ALL have issues, relative to how they were raised and in what order they were born.
For example, ladies, don’t date a baby boy thinking he’s going to do all the things you want him to do, like take the lead and treat you like a queen and be consistent taking out the trash and stuff. He is probably not.😆 They generally wanna be catered TO, and excused from any kind of hard work. Consistent where? He may hire somebody to do stuff though, cause he’s so used to people doing things for him and getting his way.
Baby girls are tough to identify sometimes. They tend to act like they’re first-borns and expect people to listen to them. They kinda seem like alpha types, but eventually the delusions reveal themselves and you can tell it’s from all the times their parents protected them from getting beat up by the older kids. Now they feel untouchable and say anything. Plus, the older kids couldn’t let anybody else beat them up or they’d get in real trouble.
So, they believe they’re untouchable. You either love them and give the terrorists what they want, or leave them alone. Ain’t no middle here. They believe they can do ANYTHING they put their minds to, cause they’ve been pumped up so much.😤
If you are always complaining about your mate being selfish and inattentive to your needs, etc, that’s probably a middle kid or an only child. They generally have zero FTG, about anything except what they want. I mean they were golden, protected and living like a youngest kid, until the next kid came. God help you if others came after that. Then they were kinda overlooked and wore hand-me-down’s, and they’re pretty pissed about that. Like they’ve been betrayed or something….😫
Make sure they’ve been in therapy (and still have access to it) before you try to date or marry one of them. And you gotta be emotionally stable yourself, cause they will relapse and work your nerves. Ya heard it here.
Only-children are usually completely unrealistic, superior A-holes. They’ve never been challenged much by life because there were no siblings to teach them fear of getting beat up, or anyone to get in trouble and almost die getting beat in front of them. They generally wanna be friends with everyone, and wish they had siblings. But that’s just because they don’t know siblings steal from you. They’re basically out of touch with human behaviors because they’re not well socialized. They got everything their parents had to give, and probably celebrated EVERY birthday and had all the cool toys and stuff. Who does that? Where? It’s really odd.😂 They generally keep secrets really well too–you know, because of the imaginary friends….😒
Saving the best for last, first-born children are amazingly awesome, innovative, independent, assertive, wildly creative, and desirable to have around. You over-protected them because you were new at the whole parenting thing. They knew you when you were young and impressionable and immature and foolish and free! They never cared though. You were just perfect because they had love and pretty clothes and food and toys (like all the new toys😍) and friends and cousins who went home and stuff.
THEN, you turned around and had another kid or more and acted like we signed up to help you take care of the brats. Ain’t nobody ask for NONE of that nonsense. None. Your other kids are totally useless. A bad idea. They don’t listen.
They don’t do ANYTHING you tell them, then they go out and mess up, and we gotta bail them out. We don’t even LIKE them other kids! Whining, combative, lazy, uninformed, always doing something ill-advised. Wait, did I say “we”? 🤷🏾♀️ I guess the cat’s outta this bag. 😁
The new kids always need to hear: Go figure it out! Think! Do the work. I swear it’s like they can’t do anything, and you threaten us if we don’t feed into the bullshit and help the losers. You would NEVER let me do some of this stuff they’re doing. But for them, you make excuses. What?! Who ARE you?
Basically, you ruined us (first-borns) for life because you had zero clue what you were doing, and we were like the same a little bit. And we generally fear nothing because of that freedom you showed us. The world is just not that scary to us. It’s big and mysterious and full of all the things you sheltered us from, so we’re doing it. All of it.
But now you act like you’re afraid. You treat these new kids differently, coddle them, dote on them, pet them up, and you help them do everything. And you want us to do it too. I know, it’s because they’re not as special as us. 👌🏾 The genes just get watered down the more you reproduce.
Fine. You can have your new worthless kids. The leaders will step up and do just that–lead. Teach. Inspire. Then there are just things that must be done, and that’s all. Nobody’s going to do it for us, especially since you got those other, less- innovative kids who need you to do everything for them (resentful much? Maybe). Fear is nothing. Suck it up and get going. Period. Oh! And who will you call when you’re old and your computer won’t act right and your hip gives out? 👀🙄 Hint: Not THEM.
Anyway, when it comes to dating or loving or marrying first-borns, you must definitely bring your A-game, every time, or we’ll sniff out your weakness and exploit you. Have you crying to your friends about how mean we are, and how nothing you do is working. First of all, cause you’re crying! Just like them young kids we never invited into our happy, oblivious, only-child homes.
All you really need to remember is: 1) Do it right the first time or get out of the way. 2) Don’t ask stupid questions. 3) Listen when I tell you stuff. 4) Don’t try to out-alpha me; either you are or you’re not. 5) Don’t be lazy. 6) Don’t try to be something you’re not; I’m not really impressed by anything. 7) If I like you, you’re winning. Keep doing that stuff. 8) Change is the devil. It took me years to build all this up in and around me. We change when I say we change. You don’t like it, there’s the door. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂
Okay, if you are in fact with a first-born, check their therapy card and see if they’ve ever been. It doesn’t usually require several visits or years; we just need to check our bearings sometimes and make sure we’re not trampling people EVERYWHERE we go. 🤣😂🤦🏾♀️ Too easy.
This was fun, and mostly, partially, somewhat true. Do your research. Check yourself. Stay in your lane. Happy hunting.
From the Mind of Tonya D Floyd