Been a while since I pissed anybody off, so here we go: Ladies, stop being nice to these dudes! Have you noticed a pattern? You cook for him, speak niceties to him, show him kindness, build him up…. He likes it, and thinks “She’s gonna give me some.” If you do, like every good boy, he’ll run the streets briefly and he’ll come back to get “fed” again, eventually. Because you’re just handing out goodness everywhere. 🤷🏾♀️ But that’s it.
He doesn’t think about you, care about you or start planning a future with you. Cause that’s not what they really want. He ain’t the one anyway, or maybe he’s not today. Not sure? Stop talking to him. Cut him off. See what he does next….
Get yourself a man you can be mean to, be demanding with, talk crazy to, drop the pretense with (wrap your hair, wear the bonnet, ditch the makeup), switch moods on, use withholding on, etc. He’ll love your dirty drawers, do your laundry, cook for you, keep your car maintained, give you money, buy you things, hire a housekeeper or clean house himself, and whatever else you request. SMH
There’s a whole Psychology to it; men are pre-programmed to work for it, fight for it, and chase after it. Add testosterone and you’ve got yourself a fire; that’s why he’s so competitive, and passionate😉. Kinda like with all those videogames he plays (tirelessly), he needs something to do (a mission), something to work for (challenges), somewhere to rest, and fuel to keep him going (rewards, points, tools). But first he must mature (level up) to that stage of his development.
When guys are younger, you pretty much get the chase and the fire. They learn the fight and work parts much later–generally once they’ve learned that the benefits of having a solid woman as a lifetime partner far outweigh the short-lived benefits of constant tail chasing and feeding the ego. He must want more, need more substance (level up).
OK, while this started as a little mean girl humor with extreme cases, it’s also mostly true. Look around. In the “successful” relationships you’ve observed and likely considered patterning your own relationships after, he dotes on her. He caters to her. He will move heaven and earth to see that she’s all right, because “happy wife, happy life.”
What exactly does that mean? It will vary from man to man, but unlike what we see on the surface, it’s not just about her throwing tantrums and making his life a living hell to have her way. When that balance is upset, he cannot be at peace. He CHOSE her to enhance his life; he wanted a future with her. He wanted to build and share and create with HER. She is his rib–the closest thing to his heart, part of what covers his most vulnerable inner parts. Therefore, he naturally provides, protects and pursues whatever keeps her happy. In that way, he’s done what he was designed to do. And he, in turn, is happy.
Contrary to popular belief, she’s not pushing him around or making him act foolishly. Many people couldn’t possibly understand the level of devotion or commitment required of either party, because they lack the maturity to see or feel or share that at this stage in their life. When a man loves a woman, he does whatever he can to show just that, in a language they speak to each other.
So, the rest of the world should shut it, mind their business, butt out, grow up, get some business, tend to that business, get a hobby, have several seats, or whatever keeps them out of THAT particular relationship no one invited them to be part of. I realize this didn’t end the way you thought it would, but take the hint and worry about who loves you, or does not. Do some self-reflection. Be the change….✌🏾❤️
From the Mind of Tonya D Floyd