My status the other day read, “The only thing worse than a sorry ass man is a sorry ass woman. Yes, I do believe we should be held to a higher standard because we are equipped with so much more inside.” It took me YEARS to think about this one, and to come to a decision that would hold up in any argument I may have about it, but definitively, positively, and without doubt left in my mind, this is where I stand. I swear life is the best teacher for people like me, because as it moves, and people do what they do, I learn and adapt, and change, and grow, and I am made better by my observation of life as a student–a scientist of sorts too. Every day provides more data, and conclusions are drawn as a result, that help me navigate the world.
Yeah, I got off course, but let me get back on my soapbox. I was shaking my head at my daughter when I concluded this epiphany. I was like, “Girl! Get off your ass and do something that makes sense! Nothing comes to you, nothing is free, and pretty comes a dime a dozen. You gotta know something, and you gotta do something. Now get to work on that plan I told you to make six months ago.” Right, and that conversation had my mind whirling and I went off on this tangent about how nobody wants a nothing-ass woman, except to have a little fun, and then drop her off until the next time they wanna have fun–nobody keeps that kind of girl for practical reasons. And then she’s probably always begging. That gets real old.
This isn’t some primitive ideal I have where a woman should be like one from the 50’s in apron, full makeup and answering her man’s beckoned call, because times have changed, and not all for the better, but we’re in a different time nonetheless. I’m talking be self-sufficient, self-reliant, self-motivated, intelligent, driven, assertive–a woman with something on her mind that belongs to HER. Original ideas, goals, skills she worked at learning and will maintain. I’m talking about a powerhouse, who will by her presence make it known to anyone in her space that she is about that business, she’s not for the bullshit, and she can be a viable and valuable partner to a viable, valuable mate, or that she can stand on her own if that’s what life hands her. I’m talking about back to basics, a complement; not an obligation or dead weight.
Yeah, I went there; I will often go there–back to basics. I’m talking Adam and Eve basics. God gave him a perfect woman, a complement, to help him with his work–that all-important work of taking care of the EARTH and filling it. You know how big EARTH is? She had WORK to do just like he did. Her role was defined by her husband and her Lord, and she was built with the things she needed to get all her work done–period. Adam didn’t get to bear children; that wasn’t his job. It was hers. Take care of your kids!
I mean, look at you–you’re emotional, intuitive, compassionate, soft, curvaceous (some more than others), sensual, built for passion, pleasure, and bringing life into this world. Love and appreciate your gifts, girl! Adam admired the woman provided for him, and he was real glad to see her after all that time watching animals get it in. Speaking of which, they don’t know romance, so it’s all about the business of multiplying for them, but we were given way better tools for our enjoyment. If that aint a gift, what is it?
And Adam wasn’t given a slave; he was given a partner, a lover, a friend, a companion. Get a job, a career, and put something in the pot, girl. She had his back, and worked by his side. How can you do that if you have no skills, no desire to do anything, and you think somebody is just supposed to take care of you? Uh, no ma’am; get with the team and get something on your mind. It’s really bigger than just you. Who are you? Why should anyone care? It’s kind of ironic; you have to be better for yourself, so you’ll be able to stand alone, but you also have to be better to fit into the bigger picture; there’s work for you to do on the planet. I know, life is funny like that.
I want my daughter and each of the young women I know to be able to offer something to those who would choose her, be proud of herself, and to have something to teach the children she may bring into this world. If she has to stand alone a little longer than the next girl, fine. At least she’ll be able to figure something out, and won’t need to blame the world for her nothingness (I don’t care if it’s a word or not). I guess you can hear the passion in my tone here. I just see so much ridiculousness around me these days that pisses me off. And I’ve seen some tendencies in my own home which make me express outrage in terms of “I know you have a brain; at least part of it is me in there, so quit trying to embarrass me acting like all you need to be is pretty and somebody will give you a job, or some money, or anything. Don’t even get me started on how hard it is out here for a black woman–pretty or not. And being the face in all the videos is not an option.” I’ll cover that, another day maybe.
I feel better. But I know I’m not done. I can hear some skeptics right now drafting arguments for me. Whatever. But going back to my title and original thought, and back to basics, women and men are NOT equal. When Eve was put here, she was assigned as the weaker vessel–plain and simple, the end. That said, our physical capabilities are not equal; our roles and responsibilities, though warped by time and the world going all to hell, are different; and though I’m grateful to the trailblazers who made it better for me as a woman to exist here, we have very specific things to do, that only we can do the way they are meant to be done. I’d like to see some dude try to carry, deliver, or nurse a baby; and that’s all I have to say about that. I’ll stop there, because I hear that can opening up, and that fight is not the one I wanna have today.
But I will say that as contradictory as this may sound to some people who love to argue with me, I am no hypocrite for believing that women and men should get equal pay for equal work. It’s about results, the bottom line, efficiency and so many other things that make a finished product. If an employer or customer gets what he tasked out, and he gets it on time or sooner, he should pay what it’s worth–gender aside. Now let the beef begin…
From the mind of:
Tonya D. Floyd, Author/Owner
Versatili-T Creations LLC
www.Versatili-T.com